While that may have been a crappy gag, what I’ve always wondered is how some of these superheroes get in the shape they get. Most of it comes from what type of superpower they have. The Flash is a runner; he’s probably going to have great legs and have tons of cardiovascular endurance. Superman is relatively strong all over; he’ll be evenly developed.
Below, I’ve listed some superheroes and what I assume could be their workout routines. You may not become “The Incredible Gym Goer,” but you’ll be pretty incredible to me.
This is our first stop. Batman has relatively no superpowers besides being extremely rich and a little crazy. He needs to build himself up for hand-to-hand fighting, wrestling, and flexibility. His workout routine probably includes:
Legs/Core/Cardio: Kettlebell swings, Wood Choppers, jumping lunges, back-squat, sled pushes
Upper Body/ Core/Cardio: Alternating dumbbell chest-press, jump-rope, mountain climbers, “windshield wipers,” pull-up variations, punching bag (please learn proper technique or wrap your wrists first).
Spiderman actually does have a couple superpowers. Whereas he used to be a pretty regular geek, he fortunately got bit by some experimental spider and voila; swinging from buildings. You may not be able to scale a wall with no hand-holds, but that shouldn’t stop you from:
Upper Body/Core/Cardio: rock-wall climbing, rope climbing, hanging leg raises, rower cardio, jump-squats to pull-ups, burpees to pullups, high-volume pushups, (if you’re courageous, handstand pushups).
Legs/Core/Cardio: jump-squats, stair-stepper sprints (for when you can’t swing around like Tarzan), reverse lunges, spider-crawls (see what I did there?), “Turkish get up.” (No, it’s not a foreign dance number.)
Superman’s powers come from the fact that he just so happens to be the only Kryptonian citizen we earthlings know. In reality, he’s not that special. He’s just the only one left. He’s Krypton’s Will Smith in “I Am Legend.” Regardless, he can do a whole mess of things, so try this out:
Legs/Core/Cardio: long jump-squats, box-jumps (they’re not quite buildings, but you get the idea.), “Supermans,” barbell walking-lunges, sled-sprints
Upper Body/Core/Cardio: Standing overhead press, farmers walks, intermittent jogging/sprinting, deadlift, power-cleans, dumbbell rows, overhead cable crunches.
4. The Hulk
Last but not least, our monster of the group. He’s huge, powerful, and rife with anguish. He’s our resident strongman/bodybuilder. If you need a building ripped down at its foundation, he’s the guy to call. You can be this person. Try this workout split into two separate full-body days:
Day 1: Heavy-bag flips, tire flips, farmers walks, kettle-bell overhead presses (both hands, single handed), heavy sled pushes, barbell “throws.”
Day 2: Sledge-Hammer slams, heavy shrugs, barbell curl, skullcrushers, backsquat, floor press.
Your “Superhero Workout Week” could look something like this:
Monday: Superman’s Upperbody
Wednesday: Hulk’s Lowerbody
Friday: Spiderman’s Upperbody
Sunday: Batman’s Lowerbody
Notice you’re doing one day on, one day off. Try it lightly at first then go into the full swing of things. Do 3 sets of each exercise on any given day.
Now your best bet is to find some crazy scientist who wants to turn you into a cat. That’d be something.